Obama is History!

Obama is Toast!

Obama will never get elected and it is all thanks to you Democrats. Why? You don't vote. That's why Republicans will rule the roost for the next half century at least. Think of it: George Bush clones, one after the other. W upon W upon W. No more global warming nonsense, no more abortion, no more bankruptcy, no more interference with oil drilling. Business will rule!

How do I know? Because you Dumbocrats never vote! You can't get off your dead asses and get to the polls.

Item: Here in DuPage County, Illinois, there were about 23,000 more Democratic votes in the last election than there were Republican votes. Yet there are NO Democratic office holders in DuPage County. There are a few Democratic office holders who's districts overlap from the surrounding predominantly Democratic counties into DuPage. But for all elected officials who's districts are enclosed by DuPage County, there is not one Democrat. In other words, 23,000 Democratic votes are not enough to defeat one Republican. That's a weak party. Hell, if you look at it the other way around, in Chicago, you only need about 5 Democrats to come to the polls to balance off 23,000 Republican votes.

Item: The whole state of Florida couldn't find an extra 600 votes for Gore in the last election so what's to worry? The South Florida seniors who are supposed to be so heavily Democratic couldn't figure out how to put a hole in a punch card. The Republicans should see them as a threat?

Item: There's a big hoopla about how the youth vote is registering in tremendous numbers. Who cares? They don't vote. When the snooze alarm finally goes off at 7:55 in that college kid's dorm, where do you think he's going to go? To his 8AM class or to the polling place? I've got news for you. He's going to miss his 9AM class and finally go to the 10AM class. He'll get there at 10:15. They won't vote.

Item: The senior vote. The seniors always vote. Bunk. I'll tell you the truth about the senior vote. I saw it on the news last week plain as day. In a diner, a national anchor man was asking who was going to vote for whom? In the back you could clearly see an old man put his hand up for McCain and his wife slap his arm down. Yeah, right. We Republicans really have to worry about the senile vote. NOT!

Item: Minorities. Let's start with Blacks/African Americans, whatever the PC name is this week.

Older black people, those who have some idea of what the words Jim Crow mean, are as confused as their representatives. That's why the Democratic congressional majority couldn't get Bush out of Iraq! In the Democratic Party nobody is leading because nobody is following. You can't represent a nonexistent constituency and older black adults have no opinion on the war because only their lazy disappointing children have to go fight that war. Older black people are too busy worrying about their retirement to care about the war. They think they are Republicans!

Younger blacks are apathetic. Better yet, they're too uninformed to be called apathetic. They're too deaf from having their ears stuffed with IPod headsets to even have an opinion about an election much less walk an extra block to the polling place. They won't vote.

Same thing goes for young whites. The rich ones don't care and the poor whites are too busy signing up for the military, which is the only job they can get. If they're dumb enough to ignore their parents warning and believe the patriotic nonsense the recruiters and the White House give them, perhaps cannon fodder is all they're good for. They won't be around to vote. Even if they were, their superiors will make sure they're on patrol for ALL of election day.

As for our Mexican population, at least for the ones who are legal enough to vote, they are too angry and disillusioned over a black man beating Hillary. Not that machismo has suddenly decided to respect women, but Hillary was their best hope for an immigration bill to legalize the brother-in-law. So what else is there to live for if you're Mexican? They will not vote.

Same goes for women. They won't vote. If they were dumb enough to parade around with placards shouting, "Hillary, Hillary" for weeks after Hillary herself told them to support Barack, they're too disillusioned to vote for Obama. Better yet, they'll probably vote for McCain. Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, right?

Item: Dems in general are disillusioned because the Democratic Congressional Majority couldn't end the republican war. Because Congress, and the entire nation for that matter, was so shocked by W's war plan based on such bold intelligence lies the Democratic majority couldn't end the war for fear of being seen as not supporting the troops. A more perfect example of a people getting exactly the government they deserve, I could not create.

And it will happen again. The Democratic voters are disillusioned and can't make up their minds. They will not come out to vote. They're so angry the Democratic Majority in Congress couldn't do the impossible, the Democratic voters will bite off their noses just to spite their faces. - © Copyright 2008 The Chewed End All rights reserved.

White Sox or Black Sox?

Chicago Cubs or Yellowstone Garbage Thieves?

My sister, a Die Hard Cubs Fan, wrote to me the following from Minneapolis:

What was the news in Chicago when the Cubs lost 3 straight? Up here, there was nothing. I mean nothing. I know this is an American League town, but still - there was absolutely nothing. Just goes to show, what you may think is important, someone else could care less.

I wrote back from Chicago:

Ah, they're all crying in their beer and moaning about, "Next Year."

Personally, I think someone really ought to be looking into who bet what on the games. They didn't just lose, they put on SCUBA equipment for that dive. Mask, fins, dry suits, buoyancy compensators, dive computers.... they looked like Navy Seals getting ready to attach underwater mines to Russian Spy Trawlers in the North Sea. Both the Cubs and Sox.

And really, how much more perfect could it have been....Both the Cubs and Sox are winning....There's talk of a subway series.....The cubs have the best record in all of baseball and are a sure thing so nobody is even thinking of betting against them....except Vegas maybe....Then last week over espresso, Tony Big Tuna up and says, "Has anybody asked any of the players if they realize that there's 3 times as much money to be made taking a dive as there is in a win?"

And Paul the Waiter Rica chimes in with, "Yeah, and the way things are going, people will be stunned like a deer in the headlights if the Cubs lose in 3. We could move over to the South Side and do the exact same thing with the Sox before anyone even swept out the taverns."

I don't know much about baseball but I know about life: Nobody is the best one day and the worst the next day. And surely not twice in a row in the same City in the same week.

Does this one pass EITHER the laugh test OR the smell test? - © Copyright 2008 The Chewed End All rights reserved.