Tuesday, October 07, 2008

White Sox or Black Sox?

Chicago Cubs or Yellowstone Garbage Thieves?

My sister, a Die Hard Cubs Fan, wrote to me the following from Minneapolis:

What was the news in Chicago when the Cubs lost 3 straight? Up here, there was nothing. I mean nothing. I know this is an American League town, but still - there was absolutely nothing. Just goes to show, what you may think is important, someone else could care less.

I wrote back from Chicago:

Ah, they're all crying in their beer and moaning about, "Next Year."

Personally, I think someone really ought to be looking into who bet what on the games. They didn't just lose, they put on SCUBA equipment for that dive. Mask, fins, dry suits, buoyancy compensators, dive computers.... they looked like Navy Seals getting ready to attach underwater mines to Russian Spy Trawlers in the North Sea. Both the Cubs and Sox.

And really, how much more perfect could it have been....Both the Cubs and Sox are winning....There's talk of a subway series.....The cubs have the best record in all of baseball and are a sure thing so nobody is even thinking of betting against them....except Vegas maybe....Then last week over espresso, Tony Big Tuna up and says, "Has anybody asked any of the players if they realize that there's 3 times as much money to be made taking a dive as there is in a win?"

And Paul the Waiter Rica chimes in with, "Yeah, and the way things are going, people will be stunned like a deer in the headlights if the Cubs lose in 3. We could move over to the South Side and do the exact same thing with the Sox before anyone even swept out the taverns."

I don't know much about baseball but I know about life: Nobody is the best one day and the worst the next day. And surely not twice in a row in the same City in the same week.

Does this one pass EITHER the laugh test OR the smell test? - © Copyright 2008 The Chewed End All rights reserved.

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Seamus O'Bròg is an artist and freelance writer who tries to turn life's irritations into life's lessons.

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